.. and it's only lunchtime!!! Man, what a morning!!

So I wake up by my mate texting me birthday wishes... I'd already been up 'til one am and got a spamming from my other half about birthdays heehee. Anyways so I open prezzies from family, dvds and a few books, groovy groovy.

Now then, I was told I'd be expecting something through the post from my other half but I honestly had no idea what it could be. So then before lunch I get a knock at the door from the postman and he's holding a giant pink box and a bunch of letters, one special delivery to myself. So I sign for all the stuff and attempt to open the letter... And out drops this disc.

I pop the disc into my laptop and it's a dvd... So I start watching it. And its a collection of birthday messages from all my friends that have gone to uni!! I was so happy!! And then it finished off with a beautiful message from the other half which reduced me to tears. Oh it was beautiful, I'm so so so so happy!!! AHHHHH!!!!

So everyone's off to uni. Pretty much everyone went this weekend save me and two others... I feel like I've been forgotten, like I've been left behind and will be at a disadvantage, all because I start a week later than everyone else.

I can't stop crying. The one I love left yesterday and I'm shattered. He's constantly on my mind, an I worry about all the things he will be doing to fend for himself right now. I also wish I was there with him, or at least at my own uni so we can converse in adapting to life on your own. Alas no. I sit here, listening to his phone calls of all the people he's meeting and the things he has to do in order to survive in the long run and I feel like I'm missing out.

I'm not sleeping so well at the moment, I wake in the night distraught to find myself alone, no loved one by my side.

Love hurts, when you find true love and that special someone has to be torn away from you, you're gonna feel awful.

So many tears, I can't wait for the day you return to heal them.

I tend to try to make myself over the top so that if I was worried or nervous some people would think I was a little strange as myself well now everyone can see I'm not afraid to be a bit bizarre. One such example would be a bbq I was invited to where I was worried I wouldn't know anyone/ two of my ex bfs were there and I wanted to not feel uncomfortable so I dressed up as a french maid, everyone cheered me on and I had an amazing time in the end!!

Sometimes life can be hard..

This is just gonna be a bit of a blarrrrrgh post, warning you now.

Things have just hit me so hard, and I'm feeling sorry for a lotta very good friends right about now, as well as myself.

Those A level results just made reality hit you so hard...

Well, I can tell you now I haven't had much sleep in the last two days. I think altogether it may have been 6 hours... I'm pretty shattered. I'm trying to keep my eyes open right now.

So I didn't get down to a restful night thursday because of Michael Jackson's death. Now I'm not going to go into a mass tribute, saying how I felt and everything here. It's been done a gazillion times everywhere else, I've paid my respects online and have discussed it constantly, there's no need me repeating myself any more. Anyways, I kinda watched the whole thing liveish so from 11.30pm onwards that's what I did. I think I managed to fall asleep come 2am but then at 4am I was up so tuned in to the news again. Around 7am I then decided to just stay awake and make sure my parents knew what had happened.

(  Cut for length. Ball and some pictures to follow )

Yes, no sleep. I'm exhausted. I've had a legendary time the last 24 hours or something, but it's 11.40pm right now and I've been trying to stay awake since 7pm. It's bedtime I think!!

Hello hello hellloooooo everybody (which is actually only a few people watching me but oh wellssss)

I've decided to finally start using this thing as a sorta sketching blog, which was my original idea, but with an account here and there. Without further ado, I've decided to do a bit of both today.

So, I finished my exams last week which was AWESOMEA and now the sun has come out as well which is even MORE AWESOME because the British cloudy days were really getting to be tedious. I actually even have a bit of a tan now from sunbathing, I may have cheated a bit with tanning lotion, but oh well, better than sun beds

So now that I have all this free time I've gone into proper drawing frenzy again which is WONDERFUL. The other day I actually exploded and drew sooooo much, it was amazing. I was so happy. I'm now in the process of creating character reference sheets, as in proper ones that I like on DevArt so that people can actually see all my charas storylines and progression of development weee.

And today I've decided to give you a sneak peek of my sketches where some will be, or have already been, coloured and added to the character sheets.

( Character sketches under this cut :D )

Doing a meme since inny_immy forces all who watch her page to do so...

- Anyone who looks at this entry has to post this meme and their current wallpaper at their LiveJournal.
- Explain in five sentences why you're using that wallpaper!
- Don't change your wallpaper before doing this! The point is to see what you had on!



Okies, there it is.. my desktop, not too messy atm, but then again I'm not actually at school now woohoo so I haven't got clog loadsa work sitting on the desktop waiting to be sortified ^^

1. Ok, so first things first, I am completely and utterly hyped about the new Kingdom Hearts game, 358/2 Days :DDDDDDDD So obviously in order to show my fandom I represent my desktop as that.
2. This desktop was done at the start of the week, before that it was Hugh Jackman in all his Wolverine goodness CB
3. Tbh, I don't like all the white on it. I was gonna go for this other one that had Demyx, Axel, Roxas and Xigbar fighting but I like Nomura's artwork too much ^^ Art beats CGI.
4. I love how Riku is hiding in this mist, like 'I'm not meant to be here' or 'I can't seeeee... where am I???' but being all calm about it :D
5. Axel has a sea salt ice cream... bitten into!! That is love right there ^^

There, done done done

Ah, finally the British weather has disappeared and we've actually got some proper sun!! And I'm not working either so I can actually go out and enjoy it!!

Surprisingly I have actually enjoyed the last few days at work- my supervisor has decided to experiment which flavours of Relentless make me the most hyper active ^^ Next week its a test of Relentless mixed with Pro Plus... I think I should be worried -.-

Yesterday the experiment ended up with me trying to gulp the thing down and laughing, causing me to spit the whole lot out, luckily there were no customers in the store. I hate to think what the security cams make of the situation!!

Yay new entry finally!!!! *dances*

So today was rather sunny so since I live near many beaches I went with the family to the sea!!!

( Here be pictures of my day )

Wee, an interesting entry for once, I'll try to do more of these ^^

So I thought I'd be good and write an entry!! I still have no idea how this site works though and stuffs- will need to work it out soon because it would be fun to put some pics up on here since EVERYTHING seems to end up on Deviantart hehe... even my lazy sketches, oh me oh my!

I'm also going to (try) and get around to writing more often. Just about how the days have been and stuffs.

I ONLY HAVE 5 WEEKS LEFT OF SCHOOL AND THEN I'M FINISHED FOREVER!!! Well, I'll be going to University instead, so still learning stuff. I'm taking a course in Animation and I can't wait to start in September. Need a long break beforehand though. I've only just got back from Easter holidays and after 2 days I'm exhausted. I really need to learn how to sleep better during the week ^^ I'm a bit reckless when it comes to sleeping heehee.

Well, I think that'll do for an entry for now ^^



Just a little picture of Jareth from Labyrinth. Highly recommended film, I love the puppetry, costumes and songs in this!! Also, David Bowie is awesome in it!!

I apologise in advance about this rant, but it is very necessary to have this rant so that people know how dumb the world is becoming.

I woke up today to the sound of my mum talking on the phone to her friend about my brother receiving homework for a week's time. My brother is five btw so thats pretty interesting to be getting homework. Then my mum mentioned something about the greek alphabet 0.o He hasn't even been taught how to read properly in english let alone greek.

Which brings me onto my rant. There have been a number of documentaries and crap about children being unable to read by the time they get to secondary school. They say its to do with schools not teaching them how to. Damn straight they aren't teaching them anymore.

I'll use my sibling's primary school as an example. The teachers have explained to the parents that they feel teaching children how to spell words and such will bring them down when it comes to creative writing because they will be so focussed on getting a word right they wont write a good story with lots of words. I'm sorry but thats lies. When I was in primary school I was taught to read and write. From there we were from time to time given the chance to write short stories. There wasn't any point where my class hesitated at writing because of a word. We had been introduced to something called the dictionary long ago and found it exciting using it. The same with that thing called the thesarus. Even when we received the story back after marking and found some words mispelt, we weren't upset. It meant we had to write down the word in a special book that was our own 'dictionary' say, so that we could refer to the spelling later on. I think it was called a log book, I dunno.

Anyways, what the teachers have said to the parents is a pack of lies. I worked there a couple of years ago for two weeks and was shocked at the level of writing and reading in the class I worked with. They varied between the ages of 8 and 10, yet they seemed to have the same spanse of handwriting. There was one lesson where they were given the giant dictionaries... I think that was the first time they had ever used one- they were overjoyed at using them. I've been using that dictionary since I was 6. Yeesh.

I now bring you to another reading situation. My sister is 8 and has just started to heavily get into video games. The other day while playing Jak and Daxter, she asked me how to save (I know it's automatic, but there's the manual one as well which can be very helpful). I told her to go to start then press circle for options and select save game. She replied that she couldn't read save game. This completely shocked me. I have always watched my family play video games since I was very little, then played them when I was about 4. Even though I couldn't properly read, I could still make out the words 'Sonic' 'the' 'hedgehog' 'Donkey' 'Kong' 'Country' 'Nintendo' 'Options' 'select' and 'file' as well as 'game over.' And I remind you that I was 4... not even at school yet. You just get accustomed to the words. I bring you back to my sister who is 8... double the age I was. She should have easily been able to read the words because she should be able to read and write properly. No.

Returning back to my childhood. I learnt to read and write within the first week that I started school, aged four, nearly five. Within a couple of weeks I was doing simple sums and reading my favourite picture books by myself. When helping out at my sibling's school I helped out briefly the year that I had learnt all this. It was the end of the year, nearing for the next school year. The teacher sat the kids around her and explained to them that they were moving on to a new year so would not be playing as much but working. She moved on to say that they would now have to start focussing a little bit more on the alphabet and writing. At the time I couldn't express my feelings, but it was awful. They were only just starting to do what I had done a whole year ahead of them. My brother is now in his second year of school and finds it annoying to read. He mucks around with it, doing words that I had done the year before. His friends are the same, not caring. The teachers don't force this on them so don't care how they feel towards writing. Terrible.

When I was at secondary school with my friend, Xenia, she found it funny how little we knew on algebra and stuff. She explained to me that she had been taught our GCSE Maths when she was 8... I found that weird, but the thing is where she comes from there is more discipline and force towards working. I was never completely relaxed upon learning to read and write, but I was still given time to play at school. My siblings skip the learning and go straight on to play.

So why did I put the title of this journal as 'Is Everyone STUUUUUPEEED?' Because its true. The new generation are stupid. They cannot read or write. I sit on the bus and stare at the 12 year olds playing around on their mobiles as though they are a lot older. These same kids I sat and helped in class because they didn't have enough vocabulary in them. When I was their age I didn't have a mobile- I played games with my friends. Even a year later when I had a phone I still played around. Because I had an imagination.

Your imagination becomes stronger the more you learn. This is the truth. I used to play imaginary games with my cousin which were then written down during my days at primary school. Now, we write stories together, still using our imagination while the rest of the people our age drive around, crash into things, get trashed and party a lot. Their imagination has been forgotten about, and it upsets them.

Imagination is something I care about dearly. I always use mine, and I am 18, supposedly a grown up. However, my 13 year old sister seems to be the grown up compared to me. She wears grown up clothing with her friends and goes to grown up gigs. I wear colourful clothes with cartoon characters on them. I go to gigs from time to time yet prefer to draw and write and hang around with people who are on the same level as me at my age.

My brother, aged 5, yells at me because he doesn't know how to use his imagination. He is getting better at imagining but its still not as strong as it should be at his age. This is because he has been drained- he cannot read to get inspiration, it comes from TV. My other brother, aged 3 cannot stand to play by himself, he always needs someone to play with him. I was an only child at his age, but I would play with my toys happily, chatting from time to time with my mum as she got around with things about the house. My brother would scream if he were forced to do this. Even when I had siblings, I didn't want to play with them because I felt my games were better than theirs.

I get abuse from people five years younger than me. I don't care. They ask me why I wear what I do, why I would even consider to wear it. These people never go home after school. They hang around outside shops in town, and enter ones such as the one I work at in the hope they can get fags. They are the ones getting rubbish grades at school because when they wanted to learn it was not done so now they don't care. They will get nowhere in life. Yes, I am talking about chavs, with their parents who don't bother to care for them and help them.

This is why kids can't read or write. Teachers don't teach them and parents don't have time for them. Both parents work nowadays. Once there was a time when the mum stayed at home to help the kid. Nah, not anymore. Kids go home to empty houses, so don't bother to work.

I could go on forever about the stupidity of people these days, but I feel I have said enough. I just wanted to express myself, because people don't seem to have dreams these days and a way of escaping to their own utopia. If they could do this, they could achieve much more, but it won't happen. I could never see my siblings in the same way as me, trying to teach my younger siblings and cousins to read when I was only 5.

And no, I was not some Matilda child. I cried my whole way through school until I was 12. I then relaxed a bit. But my crying never ceased my imagination- I would imagine more.

Never give up on your dreams. Try to imagine something ideal every day, maybe even draw or write about it. People say you should read to get more inspiration. I rarely read, but I still write and draw to aid my inspiration. Just do something!!

Oh, and listen to music- not that crappy RNB stuff or something popular, but tune in to some foreign music, or some chillout spiritual stuff. That expands your imagination. There are a few CDs I don't have on my ipod that are just for inspiration purposes. I think now is the time to grab them and share them with the world.

Ok, I seriously don't use this much... And I feel I should, 'cos its groovy!!! I just *brain fart* can't write blaaaaah!!!

Umm yeah so anyways

It snooooooowed yesterday!!! Weee!!! So I waited forever for the bus to school D: then got there and sat in my art class and there was a note saying teacher wasn't in :D So I went home!!! Yea, snow playing is fun, especially toboganing on a plastic bag XD

And there was still snow today but I went to school and had only two lessons :I It happens sometimes

I don't complain

Well, I do

'Cos they tend to be first and last period with NOTHING INBETWEEN AND THE SCHOOL BLOCKED DEVIANTART SO I CAN'T PLAY AROUND!!

But seriously, what's wrong with DA?? It's kinda important for school but oh no they decide a duckling is porno

Oh well

OMG I ACTUALLY WROTE SOME STUFFS!!! :D

Well, toodles

If I work out how the image thing goes, I'll upload stuffs next tiem!!

I often laugh at them, becuase I'm usually in a car as I pass them. If Im walking on the streets by them then I try not to breath around them until I'm out of sight of them,  then make faces!!

Sorry to the smokers out there of offense, but I am very wary of smoking, it ain't nice haha

I likes to draw. Lots and lots, all the tiem... Draw draw draw. I'm bored *goes to draw*

Roiiiiiight. How about the Pinata Party?? Resides of the sour pinata party poopers and the groovy party animal pinatas!!! I'd be part of the party animals of course, maybe even dressed as a squirrel or something haha!!

I don't really use this much, but I think I should use this more often as it seems pretty fun and I tend to post journals and stuffitys on DevArt whereas this is more sketchbooky which is AWESOME!!!

Currently sitting in a random ICT room typing this with nothing to do. Got driving lesson in a min though so shall be fun fun fun. Oh and my finger has gone white, might have cut the circulation to it when wearing a plaster to protect a frikkin blister when fishing. Wee haaa.

OMG this keyboard is really weird cos the space bar doesnt go down when I push it but it still makes a space!!! Yeah, random Luce goose here^^

Err I don't think I've been in someone elses house in about a week- and that was my boyfriend's just hanging out. Then again, do places like school and work count? 'Cos I've been there lots in the last week